Can't Win For Losing

Beware the depressed tone of this post. I have a great job and a busy life, but sometimes it feels like the center is a spinning black hole. I have God, and I would be so lost without the grace provided by my Savior. But I miss having a someone to rely on. A person who is my world and I am theirs. I had a false start this weekend, false partly because I am still married for another like month and a half, and the guy is one of the most honorable men I know.

 I hate all these false starts and missed opportunites. They sting so so much!

Also, I hang out with this great group of singles. But I get left to the side of all the flirting and the pairing off. I hate that also. It is just so hard some days to be stuck in this no man's land of life right before divorce. It is killing me. It is almost over, thanks be to God, but it can't seem to end soon enough. Apparently, I have yet to learn patience.

I just have to keep reminding myself, that when the time is right, it will happen. I just hate all the missed opportunities in the meanwhile. They are supposed to be missed, but they are still mourned for all the good qualities each man I walk away from has. Ohhhhh , ohhh, ohh.

Someone save me!!!

Go Go Go

Ever since I moved up here for my job, I have been going going going. I go to work 5 times a week, and then I have lots of activities. This week I have not been home much at all. I had church activities Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.  Thursday I went to the movies with my cousins. Tonight I have a party to go to and tomorrow my family is going to Antietam Battlefield for picnicing, a concert, and, of course, fireworks.

I love this. I love being on the go, and being with friends and family. I don't think my ex would even recognize this side of me, since when we were married, I had no license and was pratically trapped in the house. (Don't get me wrong, that was never his intention, he was not even that abusive. I just had never gotten a license and we ended up in an area without public transportation). They say the best revenge is living well!

So I am off to enjoy my busyness, and hopefully not lose my voice completely (its cracking like crazy right now).