Hope Is

Hope is scary
Hope is hard
Hope is painful

I am learning to hope in the Lord,  but I am also hoping for specific things.  Things I want, and am trying to determine if they are what the Lord wants for me. The hope for these things, events, people, could not come to fruition, and that makes is scary to hope, hard to hope, painful to hope. That's why the core of my hope is in my Savior, and what he has planned for me. Why I pray to see if my hopes are aligned with His plans. But even if they are, I can't control anymore than my own actions, and neither will God. He may plan something, and influence us, guide us. But he can't guide us if we aren't seeking Him. So I hope for something, but know that it may not happen. And that is just terrifying.

 But I know that God will catch me if everything falls through, that his works are not frustrated when people exercise their free agency. He just adapts. And I can trust in that, hope in that. That makes hope beautiful and safe.

Hope is beautiful
Hope is safe

Defining

I am truly inspired by how much of a community One Word 2011 has become.  Honestly, I just like linking up for the connection it gives me to other bloggers, and hey, I get more hits on my blog. I realize, though, I read through my comments, that people are now looking to me for what I have to say about hope. It’s like having an accountability partner, and I like that. I like that I am being held to the commitment to embrace this theme of hope in my life. Beause living with hope sounds like a wonderful idea. Especially if my hope is anchored in my Savior.

So I decided to look up some definitions for the word hope. I went to dictionary.com and found this:

–noun

1.the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that eventswill turn out for the best: to give up hope.

2.a particular instance of this feeling: the hope of winning.

3.grounds for this feeling in a particular instance: There is littleor no hope of his recovery.

4.a person or thing in which expectations are centered: Themedicine was her last hope.

5.something that is hoped for: Her forgiveness is my constanthope.

–verb (used with object)

6.to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.

7.to believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will besatisfactory.

–verb (used without object)

8.to feel that something desired may happen: We hope for anearly spring.

9.Archaic . to place trust; rely (usually fol. by in ).

I really like 4, 6, and 9. These are definitions of a more solid hope, the kind of hope I want to have. Trust in God, with a more than reasonable confidence that I can rely on Him. I have always believed that I am strong in my faith and commitment to God, but feel that really learning to center my hope in Him this year, I will draw even closer to him than before. 

Defining Home

I have this habit of saying "I wanna go home" when I don't feel good. It made me stop and think about what home is to me. Now that I'm married, and since I've been dating Alan, really, home is where he is ...or where there is a sense of us. A place that we have made our own and filled with things big and small that represent us. Right now we don't have that place. We're living with mom and it has been kinda hard to establish a sense of us in the small space we have. Not that it can't be done in a small space, but our space is made smaller by mom's stuff that is still here, and by the lack of privacy. With my husband away, I just don't feel at home. I mean, I know I grew up here, but it's not home anymore.

When my husband gets home, we are finally getting our own place. I can't stop thinking about it. I daydream about organzing my kitchen, about the placement of our books and photo albums. I just inherited an album of his baby pictures, which is so perfect. And there's the fireman with Mickey Mouse figurine we bought at Disneyland. Just things that make it our home. A home isn't just things, of course, it is a place christened by the love between two people, love that will eventually create a family.

Home is in the arms of my sailor.