As of Late

I found this on Critty Joy's blog. I love reading this blog. She is such an inspiration to me. And after I found this As of Late meme, the post to go along just started writing itself.

Lately, I have been blogging more and seeking community through bloggi
Lately, I have been chasing hope, with the encouragement of new friends.
Lately, I have been playing with my hair, seeing what different things I can do with it. I am in love with my diffuser.
Lately, I have discovered that I am truly a night owl.
Lately, my life has been one big series of ups and downs. But it is good because of my God.
Lately, I love praying for my friends, seeking God's hand in their lives.
Lately, I have spent a lot of time with best friends before they go back to their regular lives.
Lately, I love haunting YouTube and watching videos of songs that fit my situation. The best I have found is from a BYU animation professor, called Thought of You. So haunting and beautiful.
Lately, I have been finding God's love abounds in my life. I knew it, but love to constantly feel it.

That's a pretty good summary. Thanks, Critty Joy, for this wonderful idea.

Hope Maketh Not Ashamed

I have been chasing after hope, as Alece phrased it in one of my comments. I seek it constantly and focus my scripture study around it, and get excited when I see a post about hope on other websites. The scripture I'm posting about tonight I found via Fresh Brew, the blog for a neat website, Ungrind. Their topic for the month is hope. :) I love finding extra inspiration like that.

The scripture my title comes from is Romans 15:5 (Fresh Brew actually references 15:15, but I found more personal meaning in verse 5).  And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is spread abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. The hope here is the result of experience, which is the result of patience, which is the result of tribulation. Through tribulation, we can find hope. Hope in God, and when our hope is in God we are not ashamed, but filled with love. What a wonderful way to live. Much better than letting the tribulations squash us, as maybe I'm tempted to let happen sometimes. But I realized tonight that I am feeling more hopeful lately, I am looking to the future with my hope securely attached to God and His plan for my life. Yeah, my life isn't perfect, or what I expected, wanted, but God is there, and as long as I hope in Him, my future is exceedingly bright.

How does hope make your life better?

11:11

11:11 - make a wish!

Whew, I have a lot of wishes. I wish the house could clean itself, the laundry as well. My bedroom is such a minefield, and the kitchen holds a sinkful of dishes just waiting for me. It also holds my brother's butterscotch chip cookies (chocolate chip cookie recipe with the butterscotch subsitute). They are yummy.

I also wish that I was either with my husband or completely free of him. Yup, neither's happening anytime soon. In fact, he just asked if we could possibly file taxes jointly, and before that if we could be friends. I want to hit his head against a soft wall (I'm only part violent...) My heart can't take much more of his antics.

A few days ago I would wish I had a job. But I think I have a short term one starting in February that sounds like a perfect fit. I really hope I get it. Its one of  those jobs that just feels heaven-sent, and reminds me that God knows his children and places us in each other's lives for a reason.

This post was a free write based on reading the clock. It was fun to just let the words flow.

What would you wish?

What I Wore Wednesday

I am linking up to the Pleated Poppy's What I Wore Wednesday. Now, she does the whole week. I'm just doing Wednesday, because its simpler, and the only camera I have is my cell phone. We see how well that turned out.

The blue dress is from Kohls's, the cute heels from Payless, the headband (the flower's center has pearl beads :) ), and the pearl earrings from New York and Company. All but the heels were things I bought with Christmas money.

Usually I don't wear a dress on Wednesday, but today I had the opportunity to visit the Washington, D.C. temple (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) with my friends because it is ward temple day, stake temple week. (Wards and stakes are the geographical breakdown of congregations and groups of congregations. To learn more about that, visit Mormon.org.) It was a great day.

My Heart Aches

I was a Navy wife for less than 2 years, a Navy fiancée before that, and a Navy girlfriend since 2007. I loved that role. I loved the support I gave my sailor, the unique lifestyle and challenges. I was up to it; my sailor didn't want me anymore.  I read blogs by military wives and my heart just aches to have that lifestyle back. I want to a military wife, I want to support my country and my love that way, but that just does not seem to be my path anymore. I will ever be grateful for the short time that it was, though, because of the true empathy it gives me to share with those who are still with their wonderful military men, especially my close friend whose husband just left on deployment for a year.  I just wish I still had it, too (even when I feel that I am where I'm supposed to be).

Five Fun Facts

Here are 5 fun facts about me:

1. I am totally and completely addicted to books. My friends even tested this last Friday, if there is a book lying around, I pick it up and read the back. I used to wish the security guards would keep me out of the library during finals.

2. I love music. I listen to it constantly.

3. I am a Gilmore Girls addict. I love that show with their fast wit and the mother-daughter relationship.

4. My dream job in life is to work with teenagers, to inspire them to be all they can be.

5. I have zero luck when it comes to electronics, I have killed countless phones, almost 3 iPods,  2 laptops...its bad. We call it my curse.

That's a little bit more about me, and how crazy I am. Feel free to share a fun fact or two about yourself in the comments. I would love to get to know any readers I have a little bit better.

Struggling to Find My Way to Coherent

I have been trying for a couple of days now to write a coherent post to share all that is going through my mind. I wanted to write a post to introduce myself a little more. I wanted to explain why I chose hope. I wanted to share the way my divorce pulls my heart into a thousand pieces time and time and time again. Yet I cannot string together a decent post no matter how hard I try. And I usually am pretty good at writing.

To introduce myself, I will say that I like to be honest about my struggles, about my life. My name is Rachel, I am almost 23 years old. I am the oldest of 7, counting my 3 biological siblings and my 3 step-siblings and me. I have three great parents, my mom, my dad, and my step-mom. My parents divorced when I was about 15, and now a little less than 10 years later, I am going through my own divorce. If I had the chance to write a letter to me at 13, I wouldn't. At least not until I have some more positive stuff to say. Oh hey, hon, your parents are about to divorce, and in 10 years, you'll be going through your own. Oh, and you did graduate from college. Yeah, that is not a big enough achievement to overshadow all the negative, not to a 13-year-old at least, who can barely breathe through all the new hormones in her system.

So, that's why I chose hope, because I have to have hope that my life will get better, or I might just go crazy. I do have a wonderful family, and I do love my dad's new family, I am basically recovered from my parents divorce; I have Christ in my life through my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints; I am a college grad. I have a lot going for me, and I don't forget that. But the pain of a divorce is monumental, and overwhelming some days.  But I do truly have hope that my afflictions shall be but a small moment (Doctrine and Covenants 121:7)

Was this maybe too honest, too raw? You tell me. Tomorrow, I'll post 5 fun facts about me to lighten the mood.