Is This Me?

In high school and college, I rarely wore any makeup or did anything uch with my hair. Exceptions were usually special occasions, like dances. Now I wear make-up more often than not, and take time with my hair. I like it, but I don't like being higher maitence than I used to be. I guess we all change, though.

Part of the reason I started wearing make-up was the big bags I was getting under my eyes from not sleeping well. After getting cover-up, foundation just followed. Another part was switching to contacts after wearing glasses since second grade. I started wearing mascara after that. And then I saw a neat post on how to enhance curly hair, and I started doing that. And liked it. So yeah, my beauty routine has changed. It just happened, and I do like it. Others around me notice that I wear make-up, and ask why, or who am I trying to impress. Uh, because I want to, and nobody, I just felt like it. And those are the best reasons, I think. So maybe, I take longer to get ready, but it does make me feel good about myself, and I'm ok with a little extra care. I don't need it to feel good, it just helps.

What does your beauty routine look like, and how has changed recently?

Not My Favorite Holiday Plus Some Extra Love for SDG Sisters

This day last year my whole world got turned upside down. I had a good cry over that this morning. So lets just say I really don't like Valentine's Day right now. But I had a pretty good day regardless. I just sometimes wish I could rewrite last year, at least parts of it. I've learned lessons and grown a lot, but did I really have to do it the hard way? Watching my marriage go through the blender? NOT FUN. *lump growing in my throat*

I also want to say just how much I love being a part of the Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood. It's a been a real blessing, receiving and giving love. I really look forward to Mondays/Tuesdays because of you ladies. So here's wishing you all a wonderful Valentine's Day with all my love.

Money Back College

This is so apropos to my life right now. I mean I do have a job right now, but it is short term. Financial security is a big concern of mine...

LOL

Sometimes, I feel like I talk about nothing but sad or frustrating stuff. But I do smile, and  I do laugh, I promise. Sometimes I laugh hard. Like when I'm watching Phineas and Ferb (best cartoon eva!) or reading damnyouautocorrect.com (acutally,sometimes this site makes me laugh so hard I get tears in my eyes), or reading other bloggers's posts.

My favorite line from Phineas and Ferb this week was when Vanessa Doofenshmirtz sassed her dad, and Doofenshmirtz (the evil scientist the boys' playtpus fights) replies "I am your daughter, I will stop being sarcastic and untie you".  He was tied up by Perry the Platypus with his own pants! Love that show!!!!!

I made these on disney.com, the last one came out perfect!

Fear of Revolving Doors

This past year (from February to February) has been very confusing for me. I have chosen different directions over and over. Ok, let's try this way. Oh, nope, I'm gonna close that door again. Whoa, it opened itself again.  When I describe it to my friends, I say that the door is a revolving one, that keeps spinning on me. Maybe its one of those automated revolving doors.



What is amusing about all this is that I am afraid of actual revolving doors, ever since one threw me because my friend went through it super fast. So now my life has come to resemble something I am afraid of. Also, who likes not knowing where they're going. Not me! I only hope and pray that eventually the door stops spinning. Meanwhile, I'll just do the best to honor God where I'm at.

Screaming

I feel like I am at this crossroads in my life, and I don't know what to do. I really really don't. And it makes me crazy. I hate not knowing what to do. Even praying doesn't really seem to yield an answer right now. And I know that's because God works in his own time frame. But I'm not good at patient. I want the answer right now, so I can plan for it. I know that's not how faith works. But I want it to this time.

 I am literally screaming I am so so frustrated with this confusion. I guess what I need to pray for is patience that the answer will come, not think of it as a race against time.

I wrote all that this morning, in a tense frenzy. It's still all true. I just am calmer. I know that God is in control, and if I just stay close to Him, and follow the promptings I receive,  I will be ok. It's still scary, though. And frustrating. I just have to remember not to act based on my fear or my frustration, but out of faith in God, and in my own judgement, as I pray and pray and pray for direction and strength.

Beauty

Last night I was in kind of a funk. At one point, I found myself in front of a mirror, after using the restroom. I was washing my hands and looked up at the mirror and started to pick out all of the flaws I saw. My hair was falling out of its braid, I looked tired, my pores were huge from eyebrow plucking. But then I realized what I was doing, and stopped. I smiled at myself and imagined there was a Operation Beautiful note posted on that mirror. One that said something like "Smile, you are beautiful". It made a big difference in the way I saw myself, and in my mood.

It surprised me that I had even started to pick out my "flaws". I'm not usually hyper-critical about my appearance. I enjoy wearing make-up, doing my hair, and picking out a cute outfit, but I know that my self-worth does not even come close to relying on my appearance. I'll put the self-criticism down to the fact that I was a little over-tired, and in a funk. I am so glad I could remember the messages from Operation Beautiful's blog, and pull myself away from the self-critical, damaging thoughts. I think that site is a great reminder that all women, all people, need to be less self-critical.

I also like the movement Own Your Beauty, that challenges us to accept ourselves for who we are. It doesn't mean we can't be better, but it does mean we shouldn't allow ourselves to be our own harshest critics. These are great lessons to remember, and apply to other areas in our lives outside of physical appearance, like in fulfilling our responsibilities, our dreams. We must reach towards our dreams, fulfill our responsibilities, but we should not expect ourselves to do better than our very best, which I think sometimes we do. or at least I do.

(cheesing with my roommate freshman year)

How do you remember to be true to yourself and not be your own harshest critic?