Singing Truth

I love the hymn How Firm A Foundation. Especially the third verse that so heavily pulls from Isaiah 41:10:

Fear not I am with thee, oh be not dismayed.

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee stand. 

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand. 

This verse helps me to remember the verse and the truth it speaks. I will not be dismayed for my God is ever with me!

Raw

It has been a crazy week, and I just haven't felt like posting.  But I'll try to now.

It's been a pretty up and down week. There have been times where I have been in a good mood- like after watching Morning Glory, a movie I definitely recommend (DISCLAIMER: this movie had a lot of bad language, so please be aware of that), or watching the little ones play in nursery at church - they are so sweet, or being with my wonderful friends who just pour their love on me.

But right now I just feel like something is pulling me into a black hole, and I'm trying to fight it. My job is hard, harder than I thought it would be. My marriage keeps sucking me back in and spitting me out again.  My heart feels so heavy and I want to be free- from what I'm really not sure.

I think I'm gonna go bury my heart in scripture, find God's tender mercies and compassion that are new everyday. (1 Ne 1:20, Lamentations 3:22-23)

Linking up with my sisters at SDG  :)

My Favorite Pasttime

I love to read. Really truly love it. I love the stories, I love being transported to different places (to familiar places when rereading favorites), the way I just get wholly absorbed in a book. There is little better than enjoying a good book.

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Some of my all time favorite authors include Madeline L'Engle, Louisa May Alcott, L.M. Montgomery, and J.K. Rowling. Ooh, and Nicholas Sparks is good, too. I also love the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants quartet, Chronicles of Narnia, Trixie Belden (three cheers if you remember or have heard of this series!), and, inexplicably, One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies by Sonya Sones. It's a cute little book written in verse that I can just read over and over.

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A book I read a little while back and just recommended to a friend today was There's No Place Like Here by Cecilia Ahern. The book is a fun flight of fancy where a girl who is obsessed with not losing things ends up in the place where lost people and things end up. Very good!

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Anyone else who just loves to read?

Finding Healing

Lately, I have been feeling ready to engage in real life, free to move past my painful divorce-to-come. But the pain of the betrayal, the failed marriage, that still lingers. Haunts me really. It keeps me up late at night, because rather than feel miserable when I fall asleep, I read until I've chased the pain away.

I also pray that I will be strengthened through the Lord, to forgive, to find healing. I know that, in the end, running from the pain will not bring healing. Only in handing it all to my Savior will I find true healing, and it will be in His time. (That's the hard part). I must pray to find strength and healing, not for the pain to be removed. For there is a difference.

Praying for courage to face the pain, to find thorough healing.

Linking up with my dear sisters at Jen's.

One Year Ago

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I posted just the once last March. My whole world was turning upside down. And now I can't believe its been a whole year. And what a year! We almost fixed our marriage a few times, but now I know that it is finally over. My heart is completely broken, but I'm getting stronger every day.

I am learning how to stand on my own two feet again, after being part of a couple, even if it was extremely dysfunctional by the end. I am learning to be my own person again, to be my own hero. I am building a new life...because it's not the same life I had before, while I was married, or even before I got married. This is a brand-new chapter. I thought I still knew myself, but I didn't. But I am getting to know me again. And I know I am going to be ok.

I am leaning on God daily, thanking him for the days I feel strong and independent. He got me through the days when I couldn't stand on my own feet, and so I thank him for the fact that I can now. I really believe he wants me to know I am strong, and I can do it, with Him standing right behind me.

Last year I got advice to start exercising, and I did for a while. This past week I have been exercising twice a day, and it is really making me feel strong and happy.  It is such a positive addition to my routine.

This has been a year full of ups and downs, and major life changes. I'm finally free now to move on and rebuild. I didn't want this divorce, but I have finally accepted it, and that is freeing me to grow into my new life.

Strengthen Your Heart

Be of good courage, and he will strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord. (Psalm 31:24)

As my one word for the year, hope has been very real to me already this year. I have hoped for things that already have not panned out. But I know that my hope in God will always always be fulfilled.

As I have walked in the ways He has asked me to, God has been there with me every step of the way. He is filling me even now with new hope for a brighter future. My heart has indeed been strengthened and renewed. I can look forward now and really see the brightness the future has in store. I wake up happy, and have fallen asleep happy. Some nights, I still fight the tears, and sometimes, it feels a little odd to be happy...but I think God understands that too.

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My hope is ever in the Lord because He is ever faithful, ever the same. It is a beautiful thing to know that even if everything else were to fall apart, I would still have a safe place to fall. He is showing me that safe place now, filling me with a new hope for a new future. Blessed be His Name.

Humbled

I want to thank the Academy....No really, thank you, Cole for awarding me this. This is such a neat honor. I started blogging as a way to express myself and maybe find community. That what I had to say would touch others, that is a wonderful bonus.

The rules accompanying this awesome award are as follows:

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1. Thank and link back to the blogger who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 8 recently discovered great bloggers.
4. Contact the bloggers and let them know about the award.


7 new facts about me:
1. I'm not a huge fan of rollercoasters, but I loved Space Mountain..
2. And I loved Disneyland; I can't wait to visit Disney World someday.
3. Because I truly believe that you don't ever have to outgrow Disney.
4. My favorite Disney Princess is Sleeping Beauty- in the blue version of her dress.
5 Even though my favorite color is pink.
6. My favorite Disney non-princess movie is Lilo and Stitch
7. And my favorite Pixar is Monsters, Inc. "Scary monsters don't have plaque.

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(Linking all the the facts together like that was a blast!!!)

 Now on to the new recipients of this award:

Kari

Amanda

Joyful Jones

Amy

Jen

Jen

Surviving a Two Year Old

Stephanie

Congrats to these lovely ladies. XOXO