This song is achingly beautiful. I just love the line that says the aching may remain but the breaking does not. Oh how great the salvation of our Lord.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Rethink
After reading the lovely comments from my sisters of Soli Deo Gloria, I have rethought yesterday's post. I called it a false assumption that I was waiting for real life to begin. I think maybe I was being given a much needed time out. I think that the waiting time, as frustrating as it was in the moment, was a grace from God, because maybe I wasn't ready to be fully engaged. Heartbreak is all-consuming. It still consumes me sometimes.
So I don't think so much that I am shedding a layer of false assumption, as much as I am shedding a layer of protection that I no longer need. God is telling me I am ready to full engage, to feel like real life is here again.
I am still not exactly where I'd like to be, but I am in a good place. I have good friends, and wonderful family who bless me and whom I have the chance to bless in return. I have a good, if challenging, job that is affording me the ability to pay off a credit card. It is temporary, which is affording me the chance to find a more stable position. God's hand is truly visible in every aspect of my life.
I am going to really practice the art of intentional living from here on out, living in hope and gratitude and grace.
photo credit
So I don't think so much that I am shedding a layer of false assumption, as much as I am shedding a layer of protection that I no longer need. God is telling me I am ready to full engage, to feel like real life is here again.
I am still not exactly where I'd like to be, but I am in a good place. I have good friends, and wonderful family who bless me and whom I have the chance to bless in return. I have a good, if challenging, job that is affording me the ability to pay off a credit card. It is temporary, which is affording me the chance to find a more stable position. God's hand is truly visible in every aspect of my life.
I am going to really practice the art of intentional living from here on out, living in hope and gratitude and grace.
photo credit
Monday, February 21, 2011
Stop Waiting!
I've been living with a false assumption lately (for a long time, really): that I am sitting here waiting for real life to begin. That just because I am in limbo as far as my marriage is concerned (not with my husband, not able to file for divorce yet), that life is waiting for me to be free of it (limbo). This false assumption has influenced the way I view life, making me feel like I am stuck in a holding pattern. But I have realized that this is all untrue.
Real life is right now. I need to change my perspective, because I don't want all these moments to pass me by. I want to live intentionally, I want to realize that I am and can be doing significant things every day. Life is always messy and imperfect, .
I have been living in one respect: I have been striving hard to keep from closing off my heart. I have been fighting off bitterness (but not succeeding at keeping the cynicism at bay). I have been searching, reading, writing, and finding new friends in the process. Now I want to start living more all around.
So my new goal is to shed this layer of false assumptions that is keeping me from being in my own life.
(I think, though, that maybe, I did need to sit out for a little bit, and am ready now to shed this view of waiting for life to begin; maybe it was false, but maybe I needed it to protect my broken heart just a little.)
Real life is right now. I need to change my perspective, because I don't want all these moments to pass me by. I want to live intentionally, I want to realize that I am and can be doing significant things every day. Life is always messy and imperfect, .
I have been living in one respect: I have been striving hard to keep from closing off my heart. I have been fighting off bitterness (but not succeeding at keeping the cynicism at bay). I have been searching, reading, writing, and finding new friends in the process. Now I want to start living more all around.
So my new goal is to shed this layer of false assumptions that is keeping me from being in my own life.
(I think, though, that maybe, I did need to sit out for a little bit, and am ready now to shed this view of waiting for life to begin; maybe it was false, but maybe I needed it to protect my broken heart just a little.)
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Gratitude
Some days I find myself focusing on all that I don't have, forgetting the multitude of blessings I do have. I have so much and I really want to start focusing on it.
{1}I have a Savior,
{2}I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,
{3}I have my scriptures,
{4}I believe in a living prophet who speaks to us today,
{5}I have a wonderful family, mother, father, step-mom, brothers,sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents,
{6}I have a wonderful ward family (congregation),
{7}I have a place to live,
{8}I have a job,
{10}I have my health,
{11} I have electricty, running water, internet, cable
This is a basic list, but all of them are huge blessings. Huge. Yes, my heart is broken, and my marriage is over, my future irrevocably changed, but as long as I have my faith, and rely on my Savior, life will go on to become something beautiful.
{1}I have a Savior,
{2}I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints,
{3}I have my scriptures,
{4}I believe in a living prophet who speaks to us today,
{5}I have a wonderful family, mother, father, step-mom, brothers,sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents,
{6}I have a wonderful ward family (congregation),
{7}I have a place to live,
{8}I have a job,
{10}I have my health,
{11} I have electricty, running water, internet, cable
This is a basic list, but all of them are huge blessings. Huge. Yes, my heart is broken, and my marriage is over, my future irrevocably changed, but as long as I have my faith, and rely on my Savior, life will go on to become something beautiful.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Josh Wilson - Before The Morning
This song is so beautiful and touches the broken pieces of my heart. I love remembering that the pain is nothing compared to the joy He's working in my future.
This song also reminds me that as long as my hope is in God, this pain I am feeling cannot swallow me; God is my strength and my salvation (Isaiah 12:2).
Thursday, February 17, 2011
As of Late February
The time for the second As of Late post has come. Thanks again to Critty for this meme.
As of late, I have taken a job that is more challenging than I thought it would be, but in the end I think it will be rewarding.
As of late, I have made new friends.
As of late, God has been impressing on my heart that I need to take a big huge hard step soon. Today, he is letting me know, in no uncertain terms, that the time has come to take it. Please pray for me.
As of late, I have joined a beautiful bloggy sisterhood, Soli Deo Gloria, found over on Jen's blog, Finding Heaven.
As of late, I have bought a transmission and am waiting patiently for a mechanic friend of my dad's to find room in his schedule to put it in.
As of late, I have been cultivating hope.
As of late, I have been feasting on the truth of God's love found in the scriptures.
As of late, I have discovered how funny Modern Family is. "Cue the gasp"
As of late, I was able to put a huge chunk of money on a credit card thanks to my tax return.
Thanks for reading my As of Late's. Have a beautiful day!
As of late, I have taken a job that is more challenging than I thought it would be, but in the end I think it will be rewarding.
As of late, I have made new friends.
As of late, God has been impressing on my heart that I need to take a big huge hard step soon. Today, he is letting me know, in no uncertain terms, that the time has come to take it. Please pray for me.
As of late, I have joined a beautiful bloggy sisterhood, Soli Deo Gloria, found over on Jen's blog, Finding Heaven.
As of late, I have bought a transmission and am waiting patiently for a mechanic friend of my dad's to find room in his schedule to put it in.
As of late, I have been cultivating hope.
As of late, I have been feasting on the truth of God's love found in the scriptures.
As of late, I have discovered how funny Modern Family is. "Cue the gasp"
As of late, I was able to put a huge chunk of money on a credit card thanks to my tax return.
Thanks for reading my As of Late's. Have a beautiful day!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Why I Love Scripture
As I take quiet time to soak in the word of God, I find reminders of why I truly love scripture.
One is that they are a reminder that God keeps his promises. (Words of Mormon 1:4, Luke 4:21)
Another is that having the law before our eyes keeps us from falling away from Him (Mosiah 1:5, Psalm 119:92)
Those are two reasons that come to mind right now. I love reading the scriptures, I find so much to comfort me, strengthen me, and draw me closer to my Savior. I truly delight in them, feast on them (2 Nephi 31:20), for there is so much to feast on.
photo credit
One is that they are a reminder that God keeps his promises. (Words of Mormon 1:4, Luke 4:21)
Another is that having the law before our eyes keeps us from falling away from Him (Mosiah 1:5, Psalm 119:92)
Those are two reasons that come to mind right now. I love reading the scriptures, I find so much to comfort me, strengthen me, and draw me closer to my Savior. I truly delight in them, feast on them (2 Nephi 31:20), for there is so much to feast on.
photo credit
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