Real life is right now. I need to change my perspective, because I don't want all these moments to pass me by. I want to live intentionally, I want to realize that I am and can be doing significant things every day. Life is always messy and imperfect, .
I have been living in one respect: I have been striving hard to keep from closing off my heart. I have been fighting off bitterness (but not succeeding at keeping the cynicism at bay). I have been searching, reading, writing, and finding new friends in the process. Now I want to start living more all around.
So my new goal is to shed this layer of false assumptions that is keeping me from being in my own life.
(I think, though, that maybe, I did need to sit out for a little bit, and am ready now to shed this view of waiting for life to begin; maybe it was false, but maybe I needed it to protect my broken heart just a little.)
bless your heart...i sat out of life for several years...His timing is perfect. I pray that you know that His presence is right there every moment for you to step into. ALL the time. This is good news because you cannot change what you don't acknowledge and since you have acknowledged it...watch out:)
ReplyDeletepray to see and watch for moments everyday that you will LIVE and then write about it:) Can't wait to hear.
xo
I think it's important to grieve. It's important to recognize the loss and to gather it all up and then to give it to God, just as you doing. You have to deal with the feelings -- God heals through that time, as well. And now, He has started to put your pieces back together and you are free to live.
ReplyDeleteOh, I can be guilty of waiting for "the real life to begin". Very real post about real stuff we all feel at one time or another. Shed that layer, girl.
ReplyDeleteI heard it said that it takes as long as you were in the relationship to go through the grieving process after (mostly for dating, but I think this fits you too)...not that that is set in stone, but it helped me in some broken heartedness before I got married at 29...
ReplyDeleteand too, my dear friend who shared her story at the conference this weekend talked about after God made her whole after all of the unhealthy relationships she'd given herself to, that she took a year to not date--just her and God. And it was amazing...so, for what all of that is worth...I hope something to you...
and yes, so, so, so many ways to live outside of having a significant other. even in a really good marriage, it is so important...so trusting and praying that He leads you in His best in these days:) thanks for your openness here and trusting us enough share our hearts with you:)
There is something good and valuable about greiving, and recognizing the need for it. There is also something wonderful about feeling the call to shed that layer,and step into some real life...blessings and peace as God walks with you into the new parts of your life!
ReplyDeleteI think you were wise to take time out -- it's not quitting...it's not being inauthentic -- it's caring for yourself. And now you have grown and healed and are ready to step out. I say go, girl! We are with you in spirit!
ReplyDeletei know this feeling so well. i think it's good that you notice it. i spent a long time not even realizing that was what i was doing. hang in there. protect what you can, live what you can.
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