Promises

I have still have Promise me you will always remember: You are braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think  written on my mirror. At first, I just really liked the message; now it is a reminder of a promise I made to a friend last week to never  give up, never stop believing, to be strong. That promise is holding me together right now when all I want to do is throw in the towel.

 I was doing pretty well lately, but old emotions have been stirred up again, and I am just heavy-hearted. It's even more than just the significant thing that happened last week, it's stirring up memories of my marriage by seeing a box of my stuff, by reading a harmless book. I just want to heal, I also wish my marriage hadn't died, I want it back sooo bad some days. I really am doing ok, but I still hurt so bad sometimes.

I really truly feel like the promise my friend had me make is my glue until I am closer to ok again. I'm thankful for small mercies such as this one.

edit: while I do believe that the promise I'm clinging to was a grace from God, I have to remember that I should cling to God first and foremost. I was reminded of this while listening to the song Everything Falls from Fee:
When everything falls apart Your arms hold me together
When everything falls apart You're the only hope for this heart.